bye bye my war time mate

i’m saying bye to my war time mate, my lovely un-named honda astrea grand 1995. it’s been 7 years since we’re together crossing yogyakarta and parts of central java, with bits of east java. it’s been a few accident but we survived. it’s been some fine tickets with the police and yeah, in and out the for loan when i really urgently need cash. i love you. i’m going to missed you, my war time mate.

but it’s a new life where i’m heading, i hope you find a good home once again. i’m finding mine. with bhumy and my new suzuki matic spin 2009. we’ll find a name for you, hey spinny, once we settled to our new lovely white house and it’s great yard.

my fortune cookie tells:

the human spirit is stronger then anything that can happen to it.

om mane padme hum.

when the toddler start to sleep under 10.30 PM

this week bhumy has been having only a nap a day stage (he used to have 2 naps – morning, afternoon or afternoon, late afternoon). which made him sleep around 10 PM daily now. it’s been a relieve. since his sleeping schedule in bogor was kinda a disaster. especially when i work on my dateline late at night. he sleep around 1 AM. having this very active toddler around, it drains you sometimes:P

i understand that baby and kids need their routines. he is having his routine now when we finally FINALLY settled down in yogya (maybe just just occasional trip to jakarta and bali to see family or just holiday). he’s been traveling back and forward since he was 2 months old. but he’s a very good boy on trips. no hassle, just so many things to carry around, LOL. us with this baby and big big many bags.

but it made me sleep late. i think i need to detox myself away from the computer (don’t you?). i’ve been having an insomnia which made me sleep after 3 AM (and my son wake up properly around 9 now). distracting myself with knitting helps me away from the computer, but yes, the insomnia still goes on. i got the protest from my own body today. i have a bad stomaches and a slight diarrhea, i’m also afraid that my maag symptoms coming up again. i need to rest myself. so i spend the day lying in a pile of pillows and being sleepy. i need to do my yoga when i’m feeling well. the weather is not so good either, sometimes it can be hot as hell and suddenly the temperature drop. i just realized this afternoon that i need a hot water bath, after so many hot days and cold shower. it was relaxing. i need to buy some spices for bathing in the traditional market soon. i need some jamu also. tolak angin from the local warung so far had been a life saver when i’m nearly sick like this. i promised myself to sleep around 12 PM, which is another 15 minutes.

i need to listen to my body. i’ve been learning to listen to my own body since like the end of 2006, so far i never got really sick. just nearly sort off way. i’m listening to it now, it’s lullabying me to sleep

it was not only sunday, it’s the new addiction in the house

my internet connection had been so slow and ever, i had to renew my voucher tomorrow i guess to get a new quota. yay, you go im2, for a week you make me want to install speedy in the house. even if we only have a few months to go before we search for a new house to move in. god, this moving life is so…well, nomadic. and our stuff is not getting smaller by numbers, in december we’ll be bringing the stuff in bogor to yogya. although i can’t wait for my mom’s oven, i’m dying to cook and bake something here.

anyway, beside the sucky connection though our sunday knitting project is in it’s heyday. kadek started to knit also. i finish well, 3 scarfs at the moment. the first one, didn’t really do it right. many holes, making the lenght to the wide and the other way around. i might do another one for bhumy. i’m using it as a headscarf now. the second it turns okay, just somehow halfway of the side the wide is slighty bigger than the other. but i love it, so soft and green:D i intend to made the 3rd one for kadek chandra (bhumy’s cousin), but it’s too big and i run out of yarn. i’m still not sure what to make out of it. i finish 4 knit mat for drinks and a small one, form the left over yarn. i love the color.

the bernina project had to be hold because we need to work out if there is something wrong with the machine and yes, we’re a little addicted with knitting. so it was not only sunday, but every other day when we had the time to do it.

i’ll post the pics maybe monday, when the internet connection turns normal (still thinking, still thinking…).

being a mom, of a toddler

my mom @ 36

i didn’t expect to have this much motherly things running through my life, but it did and fell in love with it somehow. i’m trying to remember hard about my childhood more and more since i have no one telling about it to me anymore. my mom died before she even got the chance to see my wedding. but we both got married at 24. i had my son when i’m 25 and my mom at 36. we both in the situation with unfinished studies in both events. but she finished them off. me? well trying to fit in the right time for the next few month to finish everything off.

this article i read yesterday intrigued me somehow. about different women generations in their choice of career and motherhood, which both create such a debate until now.

it’s magnificent how a woman manage everything. i know how hard it is already. i know how hard my mom get through her life in managing everything and me now well kinda in the same path. you just couldn’t erase that motherhood phrase from a woman’s life. it’s just part of being a woman. it’s somehow in the genetic codes of our lives. i even realized as far as that i’m going to have a kid at around 23-24 even before meeting my husband. i just didn’t know who’s the father going to be. i was single and not planning to have a serious relationship until i met kadek, but i know, biologically knew that i’m going to have a kid (that’s why i cut all the smoke and alcohol in such an extreme rate), is it just a natural sense? i was having all this weird sensation on my process being a mother (aside of pregnancy of course, the obvious). it was one might say, rather spiritual.

i took care of bhumy from day one and until now. the longest i was not with my baby was around 4 hours and it happen only 3 times. i still breastfeed my little toddler now and plan to keep going. it tear my heart if i have to go away and not seeing my baby all-day (is it mommy getting attached?). so i happen to carry him everywhere i go, everytime i can. in a way i become a homey person more and more (but yes, i had to get out of the house, i do). i fell in love with things i would never think i would do like what 10 years, of even maybe 5 years ago. i love cooking so much, i’m learning to knit and sew. and yes, doing all that and babysitting my boy.

i never and cannot imagine to left my son with someone else, aside from the father and maybe just grandparents (this is still maybe). i don’t know how my mom’s generation and still my generations rely on house-maid and babysitter. i just can’t. i’m not that kind of person. i had to take care my own son even with the meaning that i have to learn anything from scratch. which also learning motherhood (it is part of myth that it’s a natural process, it’s an everyday process).

i have a very different childhood. i’m got independent in an very early stage of childhood and i don’t like being spoiled. but i’m trying to remember it again. my mother always have a very weird relationship with her mother (my grandma, that’s another very dramatic story). sometime i feel that she always hold herself and take a step away from me. not really with my brother, she gets along fine with him even when they are not exchanging any word. in the near end of her life thought i was glad she poured everything out to me and we become friends. i still grief for her, i still do. but she had left a better impression to me somehow compare to my father. i was pretending not to be a mommy’s girl but deep down inside, i wish i do. i misses my mom badly sometimes.

while time moves on, bhumy is getting into toddlerhood. which mean, dragging mommy around (not dragging daddy), being whiney, eat and don’t eat, babble things from jibbrish to meaning, running around the place, thrashing and putting things into places. which sometimes fun, tiring, and so meaningful at the end of the day. i will still do this if ever i could go back in time and do it again.

the naughty little boy @ 15 months ++:

spinach mac and cheese

easy peasy recipe for your toddler and you of course:D

ingredients:
250 gram of macaroni pasta (any will do actually)
2 cloves of garlic, mince them
1/2 onion, mince them
1 bunch of spinach (red or green)
2 cup of milk/soymilk
1 tbsp of butter/margarine
cheddar cheese sprinkle (as you wish)
a pinch of basil
a pinch of pepper

method:
1. boil the pasta like usual and ready to use
2. boil the spinach for 5 minutes (keep the color) and drain them, then mince them
3. put spinach and milk together in a blender
4. heat your pan, put in the butter, pour the garlic and onion. stir them until fragrant. add the milky spinach and cheese sprinkle. add the pasta and add the basil and pepper. mix them well. serve warm:)

sunday knitting project

i started to knit today. i meant to knit a scarf for bhumy (well i started with a scarf because it’s the easiest thing:P). but it seems it’s going to be too big for him. we’ll see the finishing touch later on.

kadek was teaching me like 2 hours maybe and i keep on going until now. the whole day. it’s like meditating and clearing your mind at the same time. i always thought that knitting going to be good for me, but haven’t had the right timing to start. so i started this sunday. i hope every sunday i’ll manage to knit even with bhumy running around the place. i had a temper problem and have been going through lots of emotional situations. i need things that calm me. like yoga and this. i need something to slow down the head and this heart of mine.

i’m planning to keep on going with the another scarf projects, especially for family members back in apuan (it is hell cold there) and maybe for xmas present for the bogor family.

currently looking for a new yarn stocks soon in tobucil.

bhumy first sketch

tada!

“the bernina project” #1: a tribute to eko nugroho “daging tumbuh”

like i promise, i’m getting to know “the bernina” (is it better to call it “the bernina 900″?)

so i start today by recycling my old clothes that i don’t wear anymore or rarely wear (i have a pile of my old mother clothes waiting to be “refashion” in bogor, will be sending them by december).

my long love swan shirts (this cheap white chinese cotton shirt, the best wear for tropical weather) with screen printing collections (from local artists: eko nugroho and taring padi) are my favorites. i wear them since like 2001. i still have most of them. they are the comfiest thing ever. but the problems is most of them already wear off, have holes and tend to tear off soon. in order to safe the screen printing that i love, i decided cut them and make them into something else.

so this one is a tribute to eko nugroho “daging tumbuh”. i bought his shirt that he offered me like in 2003? it was 50,000 IDR.

i started with this bag:

i like the size of it (it’s a cheap bonus from cosmopolitan magazine – don’t read them really, interested more with the bag, haha), but the yellow thing bothers me. so i cover it up with the screen printing cut out from the shirt. it turn out like this:

add the red ribbon from my old cut out shirt kadek’s working for bhumy.

i left the swan tag and the torn part of the shirt, it’s a good effect since my sewing is still sloopy:P

i intend for this bag for grocery shopping. so i roll it and put it in this cloth pocket (i think it was for a sock sandal from some hotel – the sandal is lost somewhere) that just lying around the place. so ready to do my grocery shopping.

my son and i ready to go buying some vegetables. love you eko:D mission accomplish:)

nb: the stain of the pocket is visible, sorry, too excited for taking the picture then washing them and waiting them to dry, hahaha, lol. i’m washing them now though xD

the men who sew

now that we’re finally in yogya (i’m keep repeating myself that this is for good after many trips). and our sewing machine running nicely, we are going to start some sewing project at home. and yes, i’m going to attempt “the bernina” again, i did a recycle bag one time, stressed out with the logic of sewing (i’m better on hand sewing-although the last time i did it maybe when i’m in junior high), but curios to attempt it again.

by the title of this post, well, it’s not about me sewing. it’s about the story of the men who sew. it’s all in the family. it is my husband who basically having his on going relationship with “the bernina” right now, he even use it for making weird dolls based on his sketch (he is a visual artist afterall). and yes, last time we visit bandung, he is also having the urge to knit and buy a supply of yarn in tobucil. he manage to knit a baby hat (he just learn knitting like a few hours earlier) on our way back to yogya in the train. all the older ladies was amazed seeing this long haired tattoed guy taking out his new knitting tools and knit the whole night for his baby boy. what a sight it was:P

so this is the knitted hat:

from “the bernina”:

the two above are balinese traditional costume, kadek basically made the kain – more like a cloth wrap (modified from his left over scraps after making yoga pants from his old batik and cloth collections – will post them later), he also made the udeng - the head wrap. it was for a galungan picture sent to our family in bali.

this is a red monkey suit, my boy lovin them, it was for chinese new year this year in bogor.

the batik yoga string pants, will try to take more proper photos or dig my HD (i’m currently organizing them, just manage to nearly finish 2007).

anyway, another man i know who also sew is kadek’s father, bapak. my father-in-law made me beautiful kebayas (kebaya = tops to wear with your batik/sarung/cloth wrap, it’s formal attire in indonesia, but common as traditional top in bali and java) to wear for going to the temple or for ceremonial events. i love them with all my heart.

he made this one even before meeting me in person. love this piece. oh yeah, notice that luh de (my niece) dresses also made by bapak.

i wear this one for my balinese ceremony before the wedding ceremony take place.

sorry no proper photo on this one, but it is in detail, i love the buttons. lovely piece made by bapak last time. i wear it for bhumy’s 3 months balinese ceremony.

bapak and his sewing machine. old time good singer. it is maybe even older than my father or bapak himself. it was handed down from his parents (?), and when the japanese occupation (1942-1945) invaded bali, it was hidden buried in the paddy fields, afraid that it would be confiscated by the japanese army. bapak used this to make a living for himself and his brother when they were studying in denpasar. such a history. he painted it white last time (it was classic black, my husband don’t like the painting idea), it is put in the front terrace of the house in apuan, it is one of bapak’s great trophy and of course still in use:)

oh well, i guess it is in their blood:P this artsy balinese men. bapak is a traditional balinese artist himself (he design, build pura, make paintings, make statue, the list goes on, just name it and he can make things magically with his hand). my husband inherited this in a more contemporary way.

us the women, well, me and ibu like to sit and watch this men. LOL. i don’t know about my little boy later, we’ll let see and watch (still promising to get to know “the bernina” better XD).

ps: “the bernina” is how we called the inherited electric sewing machine from my mother, she bought it in the late 70s when she was in austria for study. although the machine is practically older then me, it runs smoothly still. i’m still looking where we can find a local repair in or service in yogya to have it tune up later on. will be posting them soon, it’s a classic:)