i had an open eyes experiences last week. my friend, inna, just got back from ubud and share the things she learned while she was in her own personal journey. this month we also celebrate the international women’s day at the 8th march, there were a series of event in yogyakarta relating to this celebration. two of them involving samsara where inna do her amazing work.
i joined the two workshops: cervical exam and schakty which were held in samsara, in the middle of the bantul village, in the middle of the paddy field.
the cervical exam workshop was blowing my mind. i realized how much i’ve been ignoring my own body as a woman all this time. i already gave birth to my son, but i didn’t even had the time to look at my own cervix. how it look like, how it had been treated, how it also represent my inner self as a woman: my desire, my sexuality, my mind, my heart and soul. it’s literally looking inside you. i didn’t realize the woman’s body qualities. i was always scared to see myself as a full grown mature woman. because it’s present the image of weakness in the society and i don’t like to be seen to be weak.
but i realized, i had to stop to deny that i’m strong all the time. because i’m not. i collect many unresolved wound along the way and now i learn to heal them one by one.
living in indonesia and growing up in this culture, had made so many contradiction in my life. i’m in the process where i want to put my live to be align and balance. there has been so much pain that i have to go through and every path, every step has not become easier. having the courage to open yourself had mean to dissect your own reality and being.
i reflect all the many relationship i have, the emotional connection and the different situation which we experience in our life. sharing sessions such as the schakty workshop, had open my heart to others. learning how to trust life and others fully. that spending your life with worries and being scared are unworthy.
i still have many things i would like to reflect. but now, i had never been this proud to be a woman, in this body and being.
“your heart is your guru
your body is your home
your life is your class
your mind and yourself is the real enemies
while you teaching yourself at peace, your inner self grows. and the world will follow you”
namaste, inna. namaste, girls :)