three sunny days

it’s been sunny the last three days. we went for a picnic trip last sunday, to pajangan. one of my favorite swimming spot. it’s a natural spring that i found in late 2006. which was near my old rented house before i got married. i went there first time with dalih, baim, abmi and erik. it’s such a memorable moment, time and space. a very special place for me. it’s located in the middle of rice fields. i swam there during my pregnancy. bhumy also had his 3 months ceremony there also.

because the trip to bogor and the move to the southern area of yogya, i rarely visit this place again. it’s actually now, neater, more cleaner (no graffiti as much as before). the water is just as fresh as ever, especially because it’s been raining a lot last week, the pool was filling up.

i went there with kadek and bhumy. it’s a weird feeling. but i had a great time. made edadame carbonara for lunch there and had a sip of coffe (yeah, i’m starting to have some coffe with milk again). and a little swim that freshen myself from head to toe. bhumy was quiet happy playing with water but couldn’t stop looking out for me. oh well. it was raining after we finish packing. but then sunny again. such a weather lately. bhumy is having a little fever, just slightly warm, not to panic i guess. he’s been tired and having many activities that keeps him awake.

it might be the transition that we’re going through right now. sort off letting kadek in our lives again. i hope in a good way and that kadek realized that. i went to campus quiet successfully and i guess bhumy is getting used to see me home after campus. the campus matter also turning out positive, i can continue my study, my grade can be taken care off so i don’t have to take any extra class anymore. i met my lecture, pak bambang and the rest of the history department, they’re suprisingly very supportive this time. pak bambang is giving me a full support. we have one of our best conversation in a rainy afternoon. i promised myself i will continue my thesis for another great conversation like that.

i guess in some way, my own situation with kadek is hard not to be emotional. we’re still working on it. hard. i pray to myself everyday that i’m going to be strong. and that i’m doing this not only for myself but also for my son. trusting with good intentions and a good heart that everything will turn out good. so far i don’t complain when i let bhumy to be in his care when i have to go out. but yeah, i need to see him focus and get his own goals going. i couldn’t help much if he’s the one that doesn’t want to move. i tried and i’m still trying. and much much more prepare now in my defense mechanism. i believe this is a process and i don’t want to worry much with any possible outcome right now.

for myself, i get myself going. the campus matter check. just need to finish arranging the house. finding inspiration to set my working room right now. if the working room finish i could start to do real work in it. i regain my passion in latin american literature. just post a few old translation script and keep going for it. many full support from friends in a very positive way. i’m polishing my own writing through it also. it’s a good feeling somehow back into some text works. it’s one thing i love and passion about. i might have to learn spanish. i really do.

my son is growing up for sure. he’s having more time outside the house playing with the neighbour’s kids. that in a way i could get things done inside the house. i’m giving myself time until the end of the months to get into my routines which i need badly right now in my time of life. i’m picking myself to my wake up call. despite everything that already happen to me, i feel blessed. being more thankful to little things that brightens up my days and my greatest gift in life, my son, bhumy.

note:
the above pic was taken when bhumy had his first trip to pajangan, it was when he’s around 1.5 months. yes, people, i haven’t gotten myself a camera:( *realizing that’s one thing i cannot live without*

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