somehow i’m feeling to be reconnecting to the world wide web again today. been spending the last two months browsing with my mobile phone and having a little addiction to twitting. i guess it’s a good break. i agree with my friend tarlen, that sometimes you need an internet detox. well, mine is not completely a detox, i still twit and check my facebook a couple of times in a day. maybe you can say it’s an internet fasting. LOL. but yeah, i’m not that “mobile web” person. i’m more comfortable browsing with my laptop. but mobile web do help a lot when you need to multitask with a toddler around (i understand now why the ibu2 in indonesia are addictive with blackberry). my new nokia 2330 is good enough for a standard mobile webbing, with a very affordable price also. i re-read one of howard zinn book via mobile when he just passing away :_(, thought i prefer reading the book print rather then read a book via my laptop.
anyway, i had to change my laptop charger which left me completely broke. i do hope i invest on this new one to do more work. i’m still glad i didn’t decide to change my laptop to a cheaper one. i still really love my macbook, eventhough i had to change to a new harddisk (and having reason to upgrade the memory and the harddisk) and buy a new charger.
it’s been 10 days since we arrived in yogya. in our little white house, i called it that way. it’s a small house with 3 rooms with a big yard joining the main house (it’s more like a pavilion type but slightly bigger). very cozy with many fruit trees around the place. it’s me and bhumy new home. i rented since december and went to bogor to sent the stuff from my parent’s house (which is rented now) in one big truck. i had to save the books and photograph collections, bringing along three big book cupboard to yogya. thank god i find a good price (moving the stuff included) in sending them from bogor to yogya.
we’re planning to go home to yogya since the 14th january. but bhumy had his first simple febrile seizures (we called it “step” or “kejang demam” in indonesia) while we were visiting friends in jakarta. he had to be hospitalized for two days. i will write about this later. i’m moving away from the fear and trauma of that event anyways. he was not well in the two months we’re spending time in bogor. i had to wait until he stabilized and we manage to go home to yogya at the 4th of february. he had high fever, flu, cough, ulcer and his tooth was coming out (seems like all of them).
i was a little stressed with the situation especially after his first seizures which i had to be careful every time he’s having a fever now. had to carry anti-seizure medicine everywhere now. the good news is bhumy’s teeth is around 16 now. i let him eat anything now, because he was a little in the borderline for his nourishment. the doctor (my uncle) recommend some extra vitamins. the change are pretty tremendous now since he’s in yogya and stabilized. he eats a lot now, snacks and also rice. can’t wait to take him for his vaccination to see his new weight. he only breastfed before sleeping (his afternoon nap and at night) and when slightly waking up in the morning. i guess we can say we will be entering a preparation for weaning soon (still when he’s two years old next july).
he’s having friends around the neigbourhood now. the owner of my house and her family are very kind to me and bhumy. her daughter and granddaughter always help me dealing with bhumy, especially to play outside the house. two of the other neighbour kids also regularly play with him. so he’s making friends now and playing outside when it’s not raining. ibu ngadinem (my house owner) also done her own batik making, can’t wait to learn them when i have the time.
on the other hand, i was very much exhausted after a long stamina taking care of bhumy alone, when he was sick in bogor. then moving to yogya with so many stuff to arrange. i haven’t found a permanent house assistant to stay in the house. might have to deal with a semi permanent one maybe, still looking. i haven’t have the budget yet too. so i had to decide something. yeah, i had to ask bhumy’s father for helping me temporarily. he just came in on friday.
i had to admit that my son missed him and love to play with him again. for bhumy condition now, i still can accept this situation. but for other things, i’m trying to be perfectly clear with him with the situation between us now. we’re still working on this, but i tried not to be emotionally involved and spending the energy on this matter now. i have to work on my thesis which dateline end this semester (july 2010) and also work from home in between.
today, i left my son for 5 hours. that’s the longest record. for the last three days i’ve preparing him, saying to him that i have to go to the campus and finish my administration study. momma have to obtain her degree for his future. so, it was a succes. he’s being a good little boy today. i’m so proud.
i’m still finding other alternative beside house assistant. maybe a daycare in some urgent days. i got two daycare recommendations near the campus from the secretary of the history department (she’s so helpful because she’s having a new baby too and completely understand my problems). i still don’t know how long kadek going to stay in yogya. bhumy also still in transition. i hope we can passed all this process at the best way with the best solutions for everyone, especially for bhumy.
i had to make clear statement about my space of privacy too, that i’m getting myself comfortable nowadays. i can say kadek’s learning to respect that now. i pray every moment that i can get through this with a clear mind and being consistent with my decisions.
beside everything and every changes happening in my life. i fall in love in finding my true self all over again. people say incidents happens in life to make you stronger. it’s so true.
i start to write in a diary now, with a pen (not typing:P). i also start to collect diaries now. the last time i have my own diary was in my high school days. i suprised myself that writing manually again would opens many things and many feelings within me. it make me having the sense to write again. about anything that matters to me. it’s a great thing to do when my son sleeping and i can have a little “me-time” with a pen in hand.
i finish knitting some stuff. will update it later. i’ve been dying to get a digital camera. i might have to finish rearranging the house first and having my garage sale. hope will make it from there.
i just need to rearrange my work room, storage room and the kitchen. so many stuff. i have to be efficient, rational and detach myself from the stuff i don’t need anymore. i want to recycle more too. that reminds me to start our own little organic garden and start making compos again. will do by the end of this month.
fyuh, now take a deep breath and let’s do this one by one.